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哥伦比亚大学社会学教授温嘉德殊（Sudhir Venkatesh）年初出版了《Gang Leader for a Day》，描述他在芝加哥大学念博士时，往贫民区做田野考察的经历。贫民区是政府兴建的住宅，主要为低下阶层而设，是三教九流聚集之地。因为安全问题，绝大部份时间警察和救护人员都不会进入该区。黑帮趁着权力空档，进驻并支配贫民区内，进行他们的商业活动。
当地黑帮的经营妓院和贩卖毒品，目的是争取最大利润。他们希望一切商业活动可以稳定地进行，因此不容区内发生严重罪案，因为若惊动警方介入区内秩序，他们就难以进行各种（不法的）买卖，直接影响生计。
于是，黑帮头子就肩负确保社区运作畅顺的任务，包括维持治安、商业秩序、民生、外交等等。如果任何人的行为超出黑帮可接受的“道德底线”（影向商业运作），就会被警告罚款甚至殴打。举例说，在黑帮的管理下，强奸抢劫盗窃发生的次数远比街外少，瘾君子们觉得比周边安全才全愿意居住，他们是黑帮的收入来源；商业活动也受规管，绝不容许诈骗（如将私自把毒品稀释出售）的情况出现；黑帮亦鼓励区内的年青人上学，不要在街上流连，可是头子们并不关心他们的学业，只希望把他们困于课室里，免得在街上生事；几个有稳定势力的黑帮间维持某程度的商业来往，因为在共同利益下，发生任何事端都会直接影向他们的商业利益，互惠的经济关系可减低发生冲突的机会。以上的种种“政策”，目的都是为了确保商业活动得以顺利进行。
当然，在贫民区里，黑帮头子们同时拥有司法执法立法的权力，人治色彩浓厚，亦是商业活动的最终得益者，区内的政策都倾斜于他们的自身利益，无别处可逃的居民只能默默承受。
原文地址：http://view.news.qq.com/a/20090820/000017.htm
阅读提示：如果将最后一段的“贫民区”换成“XX天朝”、将“黑帮头子”换成“某Party”，这样理解起来是不是很有意思？—— 点评：此条新闻结论部分十分精彩。
感觉不错的话请 订阅不忘阶级苦，牢记血泪仇的RSS feed~
上篇:« “鸭子和鹅”的问题告诉我们：80％的中国人都是傻逼 // 下篇:小姐B下栽，坐牢也风流 »
八月 14th, 201017:41
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
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八月 14th, 201017:43
Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
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八月 14th, 201017:43
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
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八月 14th, 201017:43
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
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八月 14th, 201018:09
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
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八月 14th, 201018:12
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
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八月 14th, 201018:13
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
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八月 14th, 201020:29
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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八月 14th, 201020:29
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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八月 14th, 201020:31
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
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八月 14th, 201020:34
I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
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八月 14th, 201021:44
When you’ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
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八月 14th, 201021:45
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.
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八月 14th, 201021:45
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.
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八月 14th, 201021:50
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, ’cause if they couldn’t, they’d have to wake up to the fact that life’s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot — and the only reason THEY can’t seem to keep up is they’re a bunch of misfits and losers.
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八月 14th, 201022:24
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
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八月 14th, 201022:31
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
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八月 14th, 201022:32
Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
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八月 14th, 201022:55
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn’t have an air force.
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八月 14th, 201022:56
Attention to health is life’s greatest hindrance.
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八月 14th, 201022:57
Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.
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八月 14th, 201023:04
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
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八月 14th, 201023:29
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
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八月 15th, 201000:04
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
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八月 15th, 201000:06
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
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八月 15th, 201000:07
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
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八月 15th, 201000:15
If it wasn’t for muscle spasms, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
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八月 15th, 201000:17
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
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八月 15th, 201000:19
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
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八月 15th, 201000:38
Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.
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八月 15th, 201001:16
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
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八月 15th, 201001:17
You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.
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八月 15th, 201001:19
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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八月 15th, 201001:26
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
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八月 15th, 201001:46
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
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八月 15th, 201001:58
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.
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八月 15th, 201002:00
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
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八月 15th, 201002:02
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
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八月 15th, 201002:22
I think ‘Hail to the Chief’ has a nice ring to it.
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八月 15th, 201002:22
We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
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八月 15th, 201002:27
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
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八月 15th, 201002:31
You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.
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八月 15th, 201003:01
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
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八月 15th, 201003:09
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
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八月 15th, 201003:18
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don’t think.
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八月 15th, 201003:21
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
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八月 15th, 201003:24
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
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八月 15th, 201003:27
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
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八月 15th, 201003:27
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
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八月 15th, 201003:34
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
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八月 15th, 201003:36
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
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八月 15th, 201003:37
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
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八月 15th, 201003:37
The truth is more important than the facts.
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八月 15th, 201003:39
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
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八月 15th, 201004:10
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
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八月 15th, 201004:32
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
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八月 15th, 201004:33
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
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八月 15th, 201004:35
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
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八月 15th, 201004:41
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
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八月 15th, 201004:43
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
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八月 15th, 201004:53
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
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八月 15th, 201005:10
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
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八月 15th, 201005:11
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
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八月 15th, 201005:11
Humor is a rubber sword – it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
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八月 15th, 201005:14
If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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八月 15th, 201005:17
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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八月 15th, 201005:35
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
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八月 15th, 201005:46
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
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八月 15th, 201005:47
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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八月 15th, 201005:53
Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will — at the worst possible moment.
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八月 15th, 201006:07
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
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八月 15th, 201006:22
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions – it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
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八月 15th, 201006:26
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
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八月 15th, 201006:39
Men have become the tools of their tools.
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八月 15th, 201006:44
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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八月 15th, 201006:45
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
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八月 15th, 201006:49
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
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八月 15th, 201006:49
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
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八月 15th, 201006:50
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
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八月 15th, 201007:28
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
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八月 15th, 201007:36
It’s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
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八月 15th, 201007:39
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
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八月 15th, 201007:40
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
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八月 15th, 201007:53
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
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八月 15th, 201007:53
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
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八月 15th, 201008:17
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
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八月 15th, 201008:21
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
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八月 15th, 201008:30
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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八月 15th, 201008:41
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn’t your biggest problem.
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八月 15th, 201009:00
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier.
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八月 15th, 201009:35
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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八月 15th, 201009:37
‘Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible’, she said, ‘but that alone doesn’t make it true.’
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八月 15th, 201009:54
Gigerenzer’s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
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八月 15th, 201010:36
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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八月 15th, 201010:43
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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八月 15th, 201011:44
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
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八月 15th, 201011:48
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
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八月 15th, 201012:01
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
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八月 15th, 201012:17
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
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八月 15th, 201012:54
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
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八月 15th, 201013:34
I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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八月 15th, 201013:37
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
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八月 15th, 201014:01
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
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八月 15th, 201014:18
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
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八月 15th, 201015:10
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.
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八月 15th, 201015:24
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
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八月 15th, 201016:02
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
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八月 15th, 201016:15
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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八月 15th, 201020:48
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
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八月 15th, 201022:33
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
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八月 15th, 201023:35
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn’t cure.
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八月 16th, 201000:00
I wouldn’t mind dying – it’s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
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八月 16th, 201000:14
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
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八月 16th, 201000:16
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
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八月 16th, 201000:40
Ask her to wait a moment – I am almost done.
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八月 16th, 201003:31
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
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八月 16th, 201004:48
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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八月 16th, 201007:15
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
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八月 16th, 201008:28
If you are going through hell, keep going.
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八月 16th, 201010:09
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
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八月 16th, 201012:25
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I’ve only ever had one.
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八月 16th, 201012:44
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
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八月 16th, 201012:44
I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.
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八月 16th, 201013:07
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
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八月 16th, 201013:17
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
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八月 16th, 201013:50
Emulate your heros, but don’t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
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八月 16th, 201015:31
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
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八月 16th, 201015:49
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
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八月 16th, 201017:15
I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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八月 16th, 201017:55
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
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八月 16th, 201018:35
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
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八月 16th, 201018:47
I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don’t have to.
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八月 16th, 201019:51
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
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八月 16th, 201021:20
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
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八月 16th, 201021:57
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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八月 16th, 201022:44
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one’s doubts.
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八月 16th, 201023:56
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
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八月 17th, 201001:06
The dangerous patriot … is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
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八月 17th, 201001:09
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
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八月 17th, 201001:20
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
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八月 17th, 201001:31
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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八月 17th, 201001:32
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
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八月 17th, 201002:18
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
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八月 17th, 201003:12
Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
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八月 17th, 201003:39
Many a man’s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
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八月 17th, 201003:51
Ask her to wait a moment – I am almost done.
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八月 17th, 201004:55
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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八月 17th, 201005:42
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I’ve only ever had one.
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八月 17th, 201006:00
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
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八月 17th, 201007:26
Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches.
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八月 17th, 201020:24
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
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八月 17th, 201020:25
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
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八月 17th, 201020:52
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
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八月 17th, 201020:55
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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八月 17th, 201023:29
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
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八月 17th, 201023:29
Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.
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八月 18th, 201000:37
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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八月 18th, 201000:37
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
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八月 18th, 201001:10
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
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八月 18th, 201001:11
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
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八月 18th, 201001:44
If you can read this you’re not aiming in the right direction.
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八月 18th, 201001:44
A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
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八月 18th, 201002:06
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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八月 18th, 201002:44
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
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八月 18th, 201002:46
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.
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八月 18th, 201002:48
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
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八月 18th, 201002:57
I don’t pray because I don’t want to bore God.
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八月 18th, 201003:48
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
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八月 18th, 201004:15
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
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八月 18th, 201004:50
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
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八月 18th, 201005:47
If all the world’s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
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八月 18th, 201005:51
In America, anybody can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.
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八月 18th, 201009:45
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
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八月 18th, 201010:12
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
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八月 18th, 201011:35
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax — tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.
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八月 18th, 201012:37
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
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八月 18th, 201013:38
I have four children which is not bad considering I’m not a Catholic.
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八月 18th, 201013:47
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
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八月 18th, 201014:29
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
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八月 18th, 201014:54
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
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八月 18th, 201016:09
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
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八月 18th, 201018:22
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn’t your biggest problem.
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八月 18th, 201018:47
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
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八月 18th, 201021:10
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
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八月 18th, 201023:05
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood… War is hell.
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八月 19th, 201004:15
Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
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八月 19th, 201004:35
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
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八月 19th, 201006:01
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
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八月 19th, 201006:25
Everybody’s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there’s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
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八月 19th, 201007:30
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
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八月 19th, 201007:41
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
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八月 19th, 201008:31
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
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八月 19th, 201008:54
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: ‘Can I help, sir?’ ‘No thanks,’ says the blind bloke. ‘Just looking.’
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八月 19th, 201008:54
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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八月 19th, 201009:11
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
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八月 19th, 201009:17
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
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八月 19th, 201009:18
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
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八月 19th, 201009:34
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
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八月 19th, 201010:42
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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八月 19th, 201010:47
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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八月 19th, 201011:30
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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八月 19th, 201011:31
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
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八月 19th, 201011:45
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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八月 19th, 201012:14
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
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八月 19th, 201012:50
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
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八月 19th, 201013:48
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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八月 19th, 201013:57
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
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八月 19th, 201014:46
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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八月 19th, 201015:02
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
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八月 19th, 201015:16
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
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八月 19th, 201016:38
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
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八月 19th, 201018:25
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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八月 19th, 201020:57
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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八月 19th, 201022:35
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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八月 19th, 201022:35
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
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八月 19th, 201022:56
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
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八月 19th, 201022:57
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
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八月 20th, 201006:13
Why did God create dentists? — In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
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八月 20th, 201006:24
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
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八月 20th, 201011:47
The truth is more important than the facts.
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八月 20th, 201011:47
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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八月 20th, 201012:11
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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八月 20th, 201012:11
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
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八月 20th, 201013:35
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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八月 20th, 201014:23
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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八月 20th, 201014:26
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
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八月 20th, 201015:22
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
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八月 20th, 201015:31
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
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八月 20th, 201015:31
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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八月 20th, 201015:59
Attention to health is life’s greatest hindrance.
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八月 20th, 201016:01
Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.
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八月 20th, 201016:36
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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八月 20th, 201016:36
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
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八月 20th, 201016:59
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
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八月 20th, 201017:36
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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八月 20th, 201017:38
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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八月 20th, 201017:42
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood… War is hell.
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八月 20th, 201018:50
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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八月 20th, 201019:12
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
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八月 20th, 201022:02
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
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八月 20th, 201022:03
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
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八月 20th, 201022:25
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
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八月 20th, 201022:27
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn’t have an air force.
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八月 21st, 201000:59
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
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八月 21st, 201001:06
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.
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八月 21st, 201002:18
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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八月 21st, 201002:42
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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八月 21st, 201005:44
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八月 21st, 201005:44
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八月 21st, 201005:45
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八月 21st, 201007:19
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
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八月 21st, 201007:43
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
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八月 21st, 201011:19
The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.
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八月 21st, 201017:04
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure — that is all that agnosticism means.
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八月 21st, 201017:06
Barabási’s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
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八月 21st, 201017:31
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
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八月 21st, 201017:38
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, ’cause if they couldn’t, they’d have to wake up to the fact that life’s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot — and the only reason THEY can’t seem to keep up is they’re a bunch of misfits and losers.
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八月 21st, 201019:56
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it’s good it’s wonderful, and when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
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八月 21st, 201020:01
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
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八月 21st, 201021:08
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
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八月 21st, 201021:49
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
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八月 21st, 201021:50
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
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八月 21st, 201022:22
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes!
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八月 21st, 201022:28
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
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八月 21st, 201023:36
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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八月 21st, 201023:40
I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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八月 21st, 201023:42
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
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八月 22nd, 201000:53
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
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八月 22nd, 201001:20
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
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八月 22nd, 201002:03
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it’s good it’s wonderful, and when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
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八月 22nd, 201003:01
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
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八月 22nd, 201003:12
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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八月 22nd, 201004:17
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side
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八月 22nd, 201017:36
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
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八月 22nd, 201017:59
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
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